How to support someone with anorexia. A compassionate guide

May 5, 2025
2:03 pm

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Anorexia nervosa is a serious mental health condition – not a choice, a “phase”, or – often – only about food. It affects how a person thinks, feels, and behaves around eating, body image, and self-worth. Left untreated, it can impact every aspect of a person’s physical and emotional health, and may even become potentially life-threatening.

Around 1.25 million people in the UK are living with an eating disorder1, and anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric condition2; highlighting the urgent need for compassionate, informed support. While it’s most commonly diagnosed in teenage girls and young women3, anorexia can affect people of all genders, backgrounds, and ages – including men, non-binary individuals, and children.

People with anorexia often experience an intense fear of gaining weight – even when clinically underweight – and may severely restrict food intake or avoid certain foods altogether. This condition can also involve over-exercising, distorted body image, or rituals around eating that feel difficult or impossible to break.

Understanding anorexia is the first step toward supporting someone effectively. Whether you’re a family member, partner, friend, or healthcare professional: your support can make a meaningful difference. The more we understand eating disorders, the more we can help – with empathy, patience, and by providing the right kind of care.

Contact us or make a referral today →

The top-line: how to support someone with anorexia

Supporting someone with anorexia can feel overwhelming – especially if you’re watching someone you care about struggle with eating, self-worth, or physical health. You may feel unsure what to say, how to help, or afraid of saying the wrong thing. That’s completely normal.

The truth is, while you can’t “fix” anorexia for someone, your support can play a vital role in their recovery. Here are some key principles to guide you:

1. Lead with empathy, not assumptions

Avoid making comments about weight, food, or appearance – even if well-intended. Anorexia isn’t about vanity or attention; it’s a complex mental health condition shaped by difficult emotions4, distorted thinking, and often deep-rooted feelings of guilt, fear, or low self-esteem.

Instead, focus on how the person is feeling. Try to listen without judgment, and validate their experience without trying to solve it. A simple, “that sounds really hard. If you want to talk, I’m here,” can mean far more than offering all the ‘answers.’

2. Be patient – recovery takes time

Progress isn’t always linear. Some days will feel harder than others. You might feel frustrated, worried, or even helpless. But staying consistent – with your care, your boundaries, and your belief in their recovery – can offer a vital sense of stability.

Remind yourself: your role isn’t to fix the eating disorder, it’s to be a steady, compassionate presence while they work through it with professional support.

3. Encourage professional help (but don’t push)

Anorexia is a serious condition that requires specialist treatment. This might include medical monitoring, psychological therapy, nutritional guidance, and sometimes at-home care for anorexia.

If the person hasn’t yet sought help, gently encourage them to speak to a GP, therapist, or specialist service like Orchestrate Health. You could offer to help them find support, go to appointments with them, or simply check in afterward.

But avoid ultimatums or pressure. The more control a person feels over their recovery journey, the better their chances of seeing that recovery last.

4. Create a safe, supportive environment

This might mean:

Keeping mealtimes calm and predictable
Avoiding food-related comments or “diet talk”5
Being mindful of how body image is discussed6 at home
Planning social events that don’t revolve around eating
Offering practical support, such as food shopping7 or attending appointments

These small adjustments can reduce pressure and anxiety, helping the person feel safer and more in control.

5. Look after yourself too

Supporting someone with anorexia can be emotionally exhausting. It’s okay to set boundaries and acknowledge your own needs. Seeking support for yourself when you need it will help you stay resilient and present.

You don’t have to do this alone. Get in touch if you’d like to learn more about the support we can offer.

Supporting someone as a family member, partner, or friend

Watching someone you care about struggle with anorexia can be deeply distressing8. You may feel helpless, confused, or even frustrated – especially if it seems like they’re pushing you away, refusing help, or struggling to see what you see. But your presence matters more than you might realise.

As author and eating disorder expert Brittany Burgunder9 has said:

“No two eating disorders are the same. No two individuals are the same. No two paths to recovery are the same. But everyone’s strength to reach recovery is the same.”

Anorexia nervosa is a serious mental health condition, and recovery rarely follows a linear pathway. It’s not simply about eating more or gaining weight10 – it’s about navigating intense fear, difficult emotions, and entrenched beliefs about food, body image, and self-worth. Your role isn’t to have all the answers, but to walk alongside the person with patience, empathy, and consistency.

Start by creating a space of trust. Avoid commenting on appearance, food choices, or weight, even if you mean well. Instead, focus on how they’re feeling – and let them know you’re there, unconditionally. You don’t need to ‘fix things’ in the moment. Often, the most powerful support is simply listening without judgement.

Notes for clinical professionals

Meanwhile, supporting a patient with anorexia nervosa means balancing clinical insight with compassion. Your approach – especially in the early stages – can significantly impact engagement, trust, and long-term outcomes11.

Recognise that anorexia isn’t always visible. Atypical anorexia is just as serious as presentations involving low body weight12. Focus on behaviours, beliefs, and physical signs, not BMI alone.
Use sensitive, non-stigmatising language. Talk about health and function rather than appearance or weight. Avoid framing recovery purely in terms of “eating more” or “looking better.” ¹³
Avoid assumptions about motivation. Restrictive behaviours are often driven by fear, shame, or a need for control14; not stubbornness. Reassurance, not confrontation, supports change.
Prioritise coordination and continuity. Collaborative care across services helps prevent patients falling through the gaps, particularly during transitions.
Remember: diagnosis is only the start. Many patients need ongoing encouragement to access and stay engaged with treatment. A calm, consistent, and non-judgemental approach can go a long way.
Consider intensive at-home support. For individuals who are struggling with engagement or complexity of need, Orchestrate Health offers discreet, in-home treatment that complements existing care plans. We’re always open to referrals or case discussions.

When to talk about specialised, professional support for anorexia

If you’re worried that someone you know is showing signs of disordered eating15 – or if they’ve already been diagnosed but are struggling to move forward – the most important step you can take is encouraging them to access professional help.

Anorexia nervosa is a complex mental health condition; while your support makes a real difference, recovery often requires specialist intervention that goes beyond what loved ones can provide alone16.

Effective treatment for anorexia typically includes:

Psychological therapy to help individuals explore the thoughts and emotions behind restrictive eating, low self-esteem, and body image distress
Nutritional support to rebuild a safe, balanced relationship with food
Medical monitoring to manage the physical risks associated with malnutrition, weight loss, and related health concerns

At Orchestrate Health, we provide individualised, at-home eating disorder treatment designed to meet individuals where they are: emotionally, physically, and geographically. From live-in or online therapeutic care to visiting clinicians and dedicated recovery coaching, we offer a fully integrated approach that supports the whole person, not just the condition.

Ultimately, the earlier someone receives specialist support, the better their chances of long-term recovery. We’re here to help you take that next step. Contact us today to find out how we can support individuals on the path to recovery.